Clearing my mind

It’s been a nice, relaxing past 5 days filled with no exercise and lots of food.  FAR too much food, my body is telling me.  But, after my run on Wednesday, I decided to take a break.  I figured out that my new marathon training program was starting a week earlier than I thought – so today – which means a big increase in my running mileage, plus I am still dedicated to increasing the time I spend on the bike and really, really do want to work on my swim and figure it out… so, instead of focusing just on the marathon program, I will be doing a lot more.

I just keep thinking that by the end of this summer, I really will be in the best shape of my life. That is such a cool feeling!

Pretty easy run this morning for Day 1, except it was pouring rain and chilly.  It did feel GREAT to get outside and move, though, after taking that break.  My body craved it.  ABSOLUTELY craved it.  I get judged a lot – even by those that love me – about my dedication to exercising and healthy living. People don’t understand why I get up early, even on the weekends, to fit in a run, a ride, or a trip to the gym.  They don’t get why I may turn down an extra beer and grab yet another huge bottle of water, but then gorge myself on food.  And why I always pack my running shoes. Always.  And will turn in early (or accidently fall asleep!) so I can get up an hour early to get a quick run in before my kids get up.

I’m not crazy.  Nor do I have a disjointed body image.  I just like how working out makes me feel.  I’m so  much better for it – and trust me, my family appreciates it too.  I think they were ready to force me out of the house to go lift or run or do SOMETHING after this weekend because I was pissy. 

I was thinking about this today during my run… and then came in to find my good friend, Ericka, had posted about it on her blog.  Great minds!

My Ellen keeps on amazing me.  On the way to her swimming practice the other day, I asked her what she thinks about when she is doing laps.  And, at 9.5, she gave me a very profound answer I didn’t expect.  I truly thought she would say something like, “oh, whatever… homework, how many laps I have left, what my sister did to me, etc.”  But she came out with an athlete’s answer and it took my breath away.  I love so much about this kid…  Ellen swims not to be the best, because I’m not sure if she has that exact drive for swimming. But she doesn’t want to be bad.  There is a HUGE difference, and if you have been a competitive athlete before, you know that difference.  Ellen hates to be bad at anything.  But to watch her and to talk to her and to just be around her and swimming, it is hard to miss she has a passion for the sport.  And I love that she does.

She told me that before she starts doing a drill, any laps, she clears her mind and thinks about the stroke she is about to do.  She thinks about what she needs to work on, any adjustments she has to make, and then as she is swimming, she repeats it to herself, over and over.  She doesn’t allow anything else in her mind except those thoughts.  She concentrates on the stroke and only the stroke. 

She told me, and she had never said it before to me, that Summer swim is so much harder for her than her normal year because during Summer recreation league, parents/fans are right by the side of the pools, screaming.  She can hear and see us and no matter how hard she tries, she loses her concentration during meets.  It’s one thing to hear her coaches during her meets year round – she is used to it, she’s supposed to.  But to see and hear us, it breaks her.

I asked her why she has never told us that before.  We are the parents on the sidelines going nuts!  She said because none of us have ever swam before… we wouldn’t get it.  We wouldn’t understand the concentration it takes. But now that I do, I can get it.

So, I’m a swimmer, huh?  I get it.  Now, I have to concentrate.  I, the crazy Type A, have to learn from my Type A daughter.  If she can learn to do it, I should be able to, right?

Have I mentioned how proud of her I am?

The Run - Race Day Roundup

I knew pretty much the minute I “ran” (again, said lightly) into Transition that things were not going quite according to plan.  T1 had gone fairly smoothly.  But as soon as I got to my rack, all hell broke loose.  I tossed my helmet and it ended up on the other side of the rack so when I tried to rack my bike (which is odd in itself – you rack it by the seat, which is odd), it got caught, Matt told me later, on the helmet.  I spent a good 30-45 seconds trying to get my damn bike racked!  I WAS SO FRUSTRATED!  I seriously almost just tossed the M-Fer to Matt across the rail.  I was pissed.  Finally, got it racked and bent to take off my bike shoes and put on my sneakers.

And then, a cramp gripped my middle.  Remember when I said I hadn’t had any water? Um.. yea.  I started to feel it REALLLY bad.  And out loud, under my breath, “Oh shit.”  I had to run!  But, got on my shoes, grabbed my hat, and off I went. 

It was hot, man!  Matt told me later that had I been in 10 minutes before, the clouds were still over the sun for the most part, but it had opened up and it felt brutal!  Thank goodness I had picked up a hat to run in on Saturday morning.  I hit the first water station and grabbed a little sip of water and down the hill I went, back toward the water.  The first part was ALLLL gravel, not a great running surface.  And then back up a hill on gravel, but at the end was more water, so that was a great incentive to keep going.  That first section was a bit difficult because I was still getting my legs back after the bike, it was all gravel, there was a hill, but at least it was shaded.

Next section was grass and flat… woo hoo!  And I picked up some speed.  Also, every once in a while I could hear a family member (read: Ellen or Matt) yell.  Funny how inspiring that was during that run.

Then, the looooong third section.  All dirt and rock and in the open so HOT!  Going down the hill wasn’t bad.  There were two water stations and it was just put your head down and run.  I could feel the heat and I could feel the rocks and reminded myself that I truly hate trail running, especially when, at mile 2, my ankle rolled (I still feel it).  I knew I needed more water, but just took little sips and splashed the rest.  I kept telling myself, “Dude, this is only 3 f’ing miles.  You can run 20. Just stop bitching and finish this shit.” (Yes, I have entire conversations with myself).

The way back?  Different story.  I had to plead with myself a bit more.  My body had decided that the people walking were MUCH smarter than I was.  But, I refused. Seriously – the run was where I was strong! NO WAY was I going to walk!  And I didn’t. 

So, back up the hill I went.  And I started to hear the familiar sounds of my man and my big-mouth beautiful daughter.  They saw me and they started to cheer.  And cheer me the whole way in they did.  And as I turned the last turn, I saw everyone else at the big ‘ole finish line, screaming me in. 

And you know what.

I finished.  I did what I came to do.  I became a triathlete.

Hell yea.

Such a small community... of crazies

It is a lot of fun meeting other people who are endurance athletes (dude, I just called myself that. ROCK. ON!!) and talking to them.  It’s like we are this bunch of frigging crazy nut jobs that just love what we are doing so much and are drawn to each other. Immediately, we are best friends.  And huge supporters of each other. And it happens everywhere.  Someone will hear you talking, see you in a t-shirt, notice you limping… and ask the inevitable “did you do that race?”, “are you training for XXX?”, “when is your next XXX?”, and then it’s over.  My husband immediately excuses himself as his eyes glaze over. He knows the next 15 minutes are about to be spent talking about splits and transitions and this and that… I love it.

This weekend I met a woman who started her triathlon career last year and on a whim did a 70.3 (that’s a half Ironman) at the end of the season.  That’s pretty hardcore, but don’t let me tell you I haven’t thought long and hard about it.  But she is a swimmer while I am a runner.  I have learned that most everyone has their strongest event.  And while my weakest is the swim, my definite strongest is the run.  So she adding another quarter mile to her swim wasn’t a huge hurdle for her after she had trained for the Olympic distance (1 mile), while that sounds like such a killer to me.  But she dreaded the 6 mile to the 13 mile running distance.  That is nothing to me. 

We each have our own. 

Last week was a really positive week for me.  And made me feel much more confidant up my upcoming Sprint tri on the 15^th.  I had two great swim practices and am FINALLY seeing a noticeable increase in my endurance.  Thank goodness because I’m going to have to do my swim in a wetsuit. UGH!  Still not feeling uber confidant, but I know I will finish and be okay, even if it means some of it isn’t pretty and a bit of dog paddling… I’m okay with that.  Really.  And I may surprise myself and just do it.

It was also my first week back running after almost 4 weeks off because of my shin splint.  I was SO nervous – nervous it would hurt again and I’d have to stop.  Nervous I’d be back to drawing board when it came to my time and endurance.  Just nervous.  But, it was almost like I hadn’t stopped. Almost ;-) 

I put in 32 miles last week (Saturday-Saturday), including 10 miles on Saturday at a pace I’m pretty happy with.  No pain, no nothing. This is really comforting to me.

AND, it made me (almost) make a decision. 

So – my running times are very consistently improving.  I do not wear a watch and do not to drills to increase my time.  I don’t look at them until I finish – maybe next year I will but right now I’m just in the “I want to finish this distance” mode.  I really just started to run in December so I can’t deal with all of the rest right now.  But, I’m noticing a pretty good increase in my times even as my distances increase.  And this is good.

Welllll…. I am signed up for the Marine Corps Marathon in October, after I turn 35.  And 35 is an “age up” year to qualify for the Boston Marathon, a REALLLLLLY big deal for runners.  But I think that it will be too intimidating to try to do if it is my first marathon.  You tend to run too fast, to hurt too much, etc. on your first marathon.

So, I am very much considering adding a marathon to my races this year.  There is one on August 19 in Pennsylvania that I am looking at.  It is pre-age up, and there is NO way I’ll make it to Boston until after I age up, but I think it will be good to have one under my belt.  It IS kinda close to my 1^st Olympic tri, but I have it figured out I think… I’ll start marathon training end of April, and keep tri training, but focus more on the run.  I’ll do bike training on my off days for running only (2 days a week) and keep swimming 2 days a week, which should be fine. 

That’s my news!  I’m pretty syked.  Won’t be disappointed if I don’t make Boston, but will be kinda cool to get 2 marathons in my first year out! WOOT!

Sidelined for a bit...

Haven’t been on here in a while.  For awhile, writing was the last thing I wanted to do because I kind of had to admit… well, not defeat, but weakness.  And it was REALLY bothering me.  I was really trying to not let it, but it really was.

What I didn’t say here is that I was very close to making the decision to change my bib for my first event, the DC Rock n’ Roll Half Marathon on March 17 from the half marathon to a full marathon.  It was going to be a game day (well… day before, when I picked up my number) decision, but I felt like I was really close to being “there.”  I was strong and healthy and while I didn’t expect to make a terrific show, I felt like I could finish.  No, it wasn’t going to be the smartest decision I have ever made because I had NOT trained for a marathon length.  But, over the two weeks prior, I had bumped up my long runs to a distance I felt would enable me to finish.

Well… then my body decided differently.  On, February 25, I decided to run 20 miles, the longest I’ve ever run.  The weekend before I had completed 15 with very little issue.  I thought that if I could do the 20, and nothing went wrong the last two weeks, then why not?

Well, my run itself went really well. Don’t get me wrong, the last three miles sucked, but I think that is totally in my head, because the last three of all of my long runs suck. But, I really was pretty proud!  My time was good, my body was good, and I felt great.

Until I got home.  Then my body just caved.  NOTHING went right.  Everyone I spoke with said that is completely normal ~ sometimes your body hits a wall and goes nuts on you.  Mine did and it recovered. WOW, what an experience THAT was! HA!  But, what didn’t recover was my right shin.  Such pain, I really didn’t think I was going to be able to walk!  Came out of nowhere and wouldn’t go away.  For days, I was nearly brought to tears more than once just by walking a bit too much or rubbing my shin.  After 5 days, I tried to run – just two miles – and cried the whole way.  ME! I cried!  It was crazy.

So, totally stopped running. I was CRUSHED.  In my mind, I realized the marathon was out, and I pretty much realized the half was probably gone, too.  I was, at that point, praying that it wasn’t a stress fracture because I was going to be out for a long time and I have so many other races coming up!

Thankfully, was able to get into my orthopedic doctor who took an x-ray and could only kinda sorta see through the immense amount of inflamed muscle I had.  He was 90% sure it wasn’t broken (phew), so I got an anti-inflammatory, exercises, and sent to PT.  And told… no running.  That was on the 12^th.  Went back for another xray last Friday and no break and the inflammation is finally down.  This Saturday, I went for my first run!  3.5 miles, about 45 seconds off my pace, but… I did it!  Went again Sunday, 5 miles, and went again today, 4 miles, with a better pace – not great, but getting there.  It’s a little tender, need to stretch and ice tonight, but it feels good!

It was pretty upsetting to go from thinking I was going to do a marathon to wondering if I had a break.  I’ve been kinda trying to keep up with everything else, and now have only about 3 weeks until my first triathlon!  UGH!  I feel a bit more invigorated now that I can run again – like I’m whole.  It’s hard when that is my best sport to lose it!

But… I did do some research today.  I may be adding an event.  There may be another marathon added. This one BEFORE my 35^th birthday!!  WOOO HOO!  

Keep running, even when it sucks

Oh yea… whoooops! Bloggy blog!  I say that like I haven’t thought about writing here for days.  It’s just been a very busy week with other stuff and I haven’t quite made it back here.

I have made a deal with myself that I am not going to beat myself up about things until after my first race on March 17.  From there, I have about a month until my first sprint triathlon.  I know I can finish without a problem right now.  It is how I will do that is an issue for me.  I have now skipped two days (Thursday and Tuesday) in the pool and still haven’t spent a lot of time on my bike.  But I feel like after this first race, I can switch things up and spend my weekends where I would typically spend 2-3 hours running on my bike, and I can focus more on my swimming because I won’t ache as much because of super long runs.  I think that works.

So… the run.  It’s going pretty well.  I ran 15 horrible miles on Saturday.  I say horrible not because I couldn’t do it, but because it just started out terrible and I never got my mind around it.  I have learned, as my mileage has gone up, that running is a seriously technical and mental sport.  It is technical because you have to think about when you are going to try to speed up or let off some gas, when you are going to take water and nutrition, or when you are good to go.  And mental because sometimes you just have to force yourself to start, knowing it will get better, sometimes you have to run through some pain, and sometimes, it is just going to suck.

Saturday, it just sucked, almost the whole 2:15.  I kinda felt like I had to go to the bathroom from the start, but wasn’t really sure, I was pretty much over (kinda sorta) my groin pull, but it was still ridiculously tight and I know I was treating it gingerly, and the wind was blowing like absolute crazy.  But, I started off about 5:45am down the W&OD trail, blowing around.  I just didn’t feel…. right.  Pretty much within the first 2-3 miles, I knew I should have turned around and found a bathroom, but too late.  And then my Droid started doing something funny and the book I was listening to started kinda pausing every once in a while then starting again.  Not a big deal, but when you are trying to zone out, knowing you have 2 hours to run, annnnnoying!.  I could still feel my groin, and it worried me.  So, it just wasn’t right.  Nothing felt right.

I kept going.  It wasn’t until I was about to turn around that things got a bit better.  And it is because of some deer.  Yea, deer.  The trail runs through a nature preserve and I saw a group of 5 whitetails by the side of the trail, just watching me.  Then about .25m up, about 8 crossed the trail.  And it was heartening.  So pretty.  That really helped me out.

For a little while. 

Things started going to hell again about mile 11.  Cramps, then I swear my groin. I just felt like I couldn’t keep going. I actually stopped my GPS, which I haven’t done in months.  I stopped on the path and seriously considered calling Hubs and telling him to come get me.  It was only about 45 seconds, but right ahead of me, RIGHT ahead, I saw a mile marker.  And wouldn’t you know it?  3 miles left.  THAT’S IT!  And I said, out loud, “That’s BULLSHIT!” and off I went.  45 seconds of a personal pity party.

The last 3 were fine.  Except it started snowing, which really made me laugh. Because seriously, what else could go wrong with that damn run???  But, I finished.  And my time really was pretty good, considering.

I had my recovery drink in the car, went home and promptly fell asleep on the couch for an hour. I was a bit sore the rest of the day, but nothing unmanageable.  And fine the next day.  So, all in all, I consider it a really BIG success because I conquered myself… and I’m my own worst enemy.

Only thing left is a little change in races I’m considering, but am not sure yet.  I’m actually considering two changes, one short-term and one long-term.  But we’ll see.  I’m not always very smart…

~ R