The first ouch

Well, I officially have an ouch.  Yesterday I mentioned that my right leg was in pain, from my groin to my knee to my ankle.  I was in lot of pain yesterday and seriously felt like a wuss.  I couldn’t figure out WHAT in heck I did! I went for a run yesterday, but it wasn’t anything major or overblown and I don’t remember feeling anything on a stride or anything.

So, if you are familiar with that fun adductor/abductor machine at the gym, the muscle that is really hurting me is my adductor.  Groin pulls are mostly done from quick starts or change in direction, stops or stretching.  But I really don’t remember doing anything like that.  Maybe I moved in a bad direction stretching right afterward since I had an icepack on my knee?  I guess that is the most logical explanation.

What I don’t know is if my groin, knee, and ankle pain are all connected.  So, I’m just trying to take it easy, ice, compression, and some gentle stretching.  I am going to get some groin tape for the next time I run and see what the deal is.

As for my ankle – just don’t know what to do there. I can’t run with anything on it, so I’ll just ice it afterwards.  I’m in flops today, only putting on my heels when I HAVE to.  I’m going to try keeping out of heels as much as possible (KILLER!) for awhile and lots of ice.

My knee?  Just prayer.  Don’t have much else to go on there.

So, that is that.  Hoping a few days off will allow me to get 15 miles in on Saturday.  It is my last long run before I start tapering my mileage down before the half marathon.  After the half, I start an actual training program for the triathlon, so a new goal. I’d REALLY like to get this long run in, but we’ll see!

Gooooood times!

Swimming Sucks... And OUCH!

So, I’m hating the swim. I don’t want to. I want to love it.  Hubs thinks the fact that I hate it is wildly amusing because I told him when I first started thinking about this back in October that, “I am really not worried about the swim part at all!” And he laughed.  And now?  I hate the swim. I loathe the swim. Did I really, really make it clear?

It doesn’t hurt.  My form is fine.  I’m not afraid and I don’t hate being in the water.  I actually enjoy swimming (until I start to hate it). And I’m told that I “look” strong in the water.  So, WHY don’t I feel strong?  Why don’t I FEEL like I am progressing?  Why am I not moving up faster? Why am I not better?

Okay, so logically here (note: logic and I part ways quite often).  I have been to a total of 7 swim practices.  

One of those I didn’t complete because my calf was barely moveable.  But – probably half of the remainder of those practices, I have made excuses for why I have needed to quit a drill early (um, leaking goggles, cramp, dog ate my homework…). NO! I’m just tired.  I can’t keep up.  I DON’T WANT TO SWIM!  And the thing is, if I just focused and put on my game face, if I went a bit Zen and really beared down, I COULD do it.  I COULD finish whatever drill it was.

But I rarely do.  I come up with an excuse.  And I detest that.  I hate when my kids make excuses. When my colleagues do it.  And I LOATHE when I do it.

I also hate that I have started to compete with people around me.  My weight loss, then my health  goals, and now my fitness goals have never been about competing with anyone but me.  I am VERY competitive, but I’ve worked hard to make this about me setting internal hurdles and goals to achieve.  But, I look around the pool and see some people in higher lanes, with better endurance than me, swimming faster than me, who I know that I am in better physical condition than.  I am stronger, and leaner, and have less body fat and, and, and… All those things that I have worked REALLY hard for and that are supposed to make a difference.  And I get ANGRY!  Not at them, but at myself.  I want to be them!  I WANT TO BE BETTER IN THE POOL.  I’m jealous. 

My brother has never claimed to be a swimmer.  He has never done a tri because of the swim.  The kid could swim underwater for DAYS, but he just stinks doing any kind of regular freestyle.  But, because he can’t stand the fact that 1) he has been down for the count for months now due to his hip, and 2) that I’m doing more events this year than he is, he has decided that his comeback will be, if all goes well, the Olympic tri I am doing in September.  SO, he has joined a Master’s program near him.  It does help that he texted me yesterday, hating the swim as much as I do. 

Swim sucks.  A goal is that by the end of this season, it doesn’t suck as much.  Maybe when I hate to swim a mile before riding a bike for 20 miles, I won’t hate it so much.  Geez… I hope so.

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Today, I ran about 6 miles pretty quick before rushing to get my two oldest up an hour early to get to church for Ash Wednesday service before school.  Pretty happy with my time, but not happy that:

• My knee was hurting a bit during the run. Note: I have about 1% cartilage in my knee and it is my awful fear it is going to go on me.
• My ankle has been hurting me pretty much all day since the run.
• My right groin is killing me for the last few hours.

Iced my knee when I got home.  It feels fine now so hoping it was just a fluke.  Groin and ankle?  NO clue what’s going on.  Been having problems with this ankle for weeks.  Groin, knee, ankle – all on right side.  Going to do some really, really good stretching tonight, ice, and mineral ice.  Hoping it goes away or I can work it out.  Bla.

Getting things in order

Just realized I haven’t written here in awhile.  No real reason except I’ve been trying to get my head around some things.  I know… that is when I really SHOULD be writing.  Oh well.

I have been doing some soul searching, some meditating, some praying, and some organizing… and got my heart and head around what I need to do to feel better about my time situation, my nutrition, and just my general mood about this.  If I WANT to do this, then why aren’t I having FUN with it?  And if I’m not, then I shouldn’t be doing it. Plain and simple.

Step by step, here is what I’ve done:

• I ordered some books.  One is a book on triathlon training that is one of the most heralded books for certified coaches around.  MUCH more technical than I understand or need, it has already proven to be very helpful (more on this).  The second is a nutrition book for athletes.  Again, very technical, and one I haven’t gotten into 100%, but already has helped me.
• I’ve set priorities.  Getting my priorities straight got me healthy (my soul) before.  I think I needed to get my priorities straight when it came to my training.  I need to look to July and September as my BIG races and what my ultimate goals are this season, but need to take steps incrementally so I don’t get overwhelmed.  I think I started to get way overwhelmed.
• I started to realize that I have only been training for less than 2 months.  Yea, I may have had this idea for four months, I need to give myself some credit.  In February of 2011, I was still over 200 pounds.  Now, I have some great goals I am working toward that are lofty, but within reach.  I should be proud of myself, and not beating up on myself for not being even further along.

So, first off, I have mentally, which will soon turn into a reality, turned each of my days into a 24-hour spreadsheet.  I’ve built in sleep, personal time, work, etc.  That way, I can see when I have time to get in workouts.  I got this idea from my training book and think it is really going to help me.  I am SUCH a visual person.  I think once I see that I have THIS time to work out on THIS day, and THIS time on THAT day… I may actually have more time than I think!  Plus, I think it is going to help a lot now that the days are getting longer. 

Second, Hubs and I had a nice talk about how I’m feeling regarding nutrition, some changes I’d like to make, and how to do this.  I really don’t want this to become something where I’m eating all my meals different from everyone… but we could stand to make some changes (especially those nights the big girlies aren’t around) in our diet.  And I don’t want it to cost a damn fortune.  I think we have a good game plan, at least to start with.  

A BIG change so far is the yummy breakfast (quick and powerful) I’ve added, and another snack.

And it really was a bit eye opening when I realized that it isn’t yet the end of February yet.  And I really am doing okay.  Not great, but I am okay.  I’m going to be proud of myself. For today ;-)

This weekend, I had a pretty good workout weekend.  I got up on Saturday and ran right about 13 miles.  It was a fairly flat trail I ran on, and I definitely wasn’t pushing my time.  At 13 miles, the longest I’ve ran in years, my goal was to get ‘er done. I also was experimenting with some different nutrition and when I took it.  The longer I’m running, the more I’m realizing how technical a sport running is!  When you drink, when you eat, when you push your legs a bit, when you slow it down.  You really DO need to think.  But, even with not pushing at all, I came in at 1:50, which I’m really happy with.  I really do think I can get the half marathon in March, barring anything unforeseen, under 2:00. I will be really psyched!

I got up on yesterday, Monday, morning and did a spin class, followed by a short run on the treadmill.  The spin class showed me that I DO need to get on my bike more. YOWSA.  But it was fun. The run after showed me that, wow… transition is going to be hard.  But I can do it!  I was happy about that.  I really do think that I am truly going to love to bike and can’t wait for the days to get longer so I can get out more.

Then… there is swimming.  GAWD, I am frustrated.  I’m going to hold off on that until tomorrow, because this has been a positive post thus far.  :-D  I DID swim this morning, and DID complete the workout.  I was all set to go to the gym today at lunch to lift (I am going to get at least one day of lifting in a week), but have been dealing with a pretty bad headache today and had to take two codeine pills to knock it out… thinking NOT a good thing to lift on codeine. ;-)

OH!!!! BIG THING!  I have decided to give up CHOCOLATE for Lent!  Triple purposes here.  First, thinking of what would be a big sacrifice for me, this seems logical.  Second, thinking of something that my kids would notice and see that I was making a change in, sacrificing, and DOING in the name of Lent, as an example.  Third, well… selfishly.  I NEED to do this.  The shear amount of chocolate I eat is really disgusting.

I won’t lie.  I’m eating a LOT of chocolate today to prepare.

~ R 

A new week... Still plugging along

I’m still around… I haven’t given up, nor lost hope.  Some hormones (damn PMS) and a bit of anxiety kept me side-lined a bit, but I’m still here.  I think with some people, the physical aspect of this training would get to them.  For me, it is the time constraints.  So many people in the pool with me are either younger (no kids yet) or older (older children).  I don’t know if there are any my age or in my situation ~ especially not WOMEN!  I think last week I learned why. 

But, I’m not going to give up.  This year, I think I’ll be training on my own or with an online trainer and not doing the group training.  I just can’t work it into my schedule.  I do need to find time to get on the bike more.  I need to buy a bike trainer.  And I need to get my nutrition under control.  Once those three things are done, I think I’ll feel better. 

I ran 3 quick miles on Thursday, then skipped swimming practice (first time for that!).  I was going to have a VERY busy Thursday-Saturday at a conference with very late nights so decided to climb right back into bed, and am glad I did.  However, due to said conference, I didn’t do my long run over the weekend… kept pushing it off.

Until this morning.  So 10 miles before work.  It was interesting because I haven’t run 10 miles in about 5 years.  I was curious to see 1) if I could do it and 2) to see how I would feel.  I wasn’t doing it for time, just to finish.  And I did.  I definitely wasn’t winded and could have gone further.  My hips hurt a bit because it was a very, very hilly path I took.  But, in the end, I got home and thought “wow. I just ran for an hour and a half.  That’s pretty cool!” I definitely could have run faster and know I could have gone further, but I’m pretty happy with it.  I hadn’t had any water or nutrition during the run and hadn’t had a lot of water the day before.  And it was COOOOOLD.  So with that, I’m feeling okay.

I’m thinking, if all goes well, I think I may be able to push out a 1:45-1:50 half marathon in March.  That will be pushing and taking care of myself.  But, I’ll be happy with 1:45 – 2:00.

So, here’s to a new week!

Don't know if this is quite working out....

I’m going through a major period of doubt today.  I guess it started yesterday and you may caught with my post about time and my lack of it.  I guess it has grown exponentially since then.  Hubs and I just got done looking at the sample monthly calendar from the tri group I want to join and the prognosis isn’t good.  When he starts by saying, k, so let's break down what that is for the week. Monday you either do the night or the morning session.  If you do the morning you miss seeing #2 and #3 in the morning. If you do the night, you can probably get home by 8 and see #1 and #2 before bed. Tues: same as it is now – so you’ll do swim in the morning and we’ll have the crazy rush out the door. Wed: morning track, so you won't see the girls in the morning. I assume that means nothing for Wed evening, but if you do the boot camp you miss #3. Thursday would be as it is now in the morning (swim practice) and you could do boot camp at night – again no #3.  Friday – you have to bring #1 to swim practice in AM so you don’t get to see #2 and #3.

Yea – so obviously that doesn’t sound good.  Now, I don’t HAVE to do all of the practice sessions to be part of this group.  That isn’t the point!  But the practices after work are 6:30 or 7:30pm.  And additional sessions (besides my swim practices) in the morning are 6:30am.  NOT the best times for parents.  So adding things in means taking time away from my family.

But the thing is… I need to add things in.  I’m not the “let’s just cross the finish line” type of person. If I am going to do this, I want to DO THIS.  I want to really go for it.  I’m not expecting to come in under 2 hours for my first half marathon in a few weeks, but I also don’t want to crawl across the finish line.  I don’t want to fall on my ass during transitions during my tris and look like a fool.  I want to make the best finish I can.  And I know I’m not doing that right now.

I also know I get up at 4am right now and work out for 2 hours and come home to help get 3 kids out the door for school, then work at a very stressful job for 9 or 10 hours and go home to be a wife and mom, and usually work some more, before falling into bed for 5 or 6 hours a night, if I’m lucky.  I really, really, really want this.  But I’m wondering if I’m going to be able to pull it off.  Logic is telling me to hang it up.  And my heart is crushed.

Rushing through... with not enough time

I’m trying to find something good to say about my weekend’s physical activities.  Really, there isn’t much.  Okay, I got 8 miles in.  But it wasn’t pretty.  My time was fine, but mentally I was way off and I did exactly what I should not have done afterward… RUSH! And it through me off the rest of the day.

According to my training schedule, I should have done my 8 on Saturday but I put it off, and I’m not sorry at all I did.  Hubs and I were spending some time together and it was really nice to just wake up with him instead of waking up to an alarm, jumping out of bed and immediately going to run/bike/swim, etc.  But, waking up before church to run on Sunday meant that I got home, had to rush to shower, dress, throw down a bottle of water, etc… Didn’t get to cool down and stretch.  It was bad news for me. I was slurring words and was really out of it.  It REALLLY affects me to run for an hour and then just go again.  BAAAAD news.  Luckily I was able to get 45 minutes of nap/rest in mid-day and was okay-ish after that. 

I will admit, I also woke up on Sunday just really not wanting to run.  There were many times during the run I thought about aborting. “Is it really a big deal if I don’t finish? Nobody will really know.”  Or “My hips hurt. Is my knee hurting?  Should I stop?”  I was just a bundle of negativity.  I didn’t stop… but I thought about it.  A lot.  Just not a good attitude.

Didn’t get a single bit of exercise in besides that. I’m okay with it, though.  I’m only a month into this training thing and I’m okay with not going full throttle quite yet.  It will come soon enough.  I think this week I’m going to add a day of weight training in.

So, huge surprise here!!! I’m finding TIME to be my biggest enemy in training.  I have my mornings pretty well scheduled but I need to find more time to train.  But I need to spend time with my husband and kids.  And I need to work.  Oh, and sleep.  The biggest loser here is the bike. I’m putting in my time on my run and swim and I feel pretty good there, but my bike is losing out.  I think I can add in more on the weekends, and I need to get up on the trainer at night to get my stroke stronger and cleaner.  Perhaps I can bring my trainer to work and get some time in during lunches.  Trying to go for creative solutions and not get frustrated.

I am considering joining a triathlon group training club/program. I went to a full information session yesterday… and gave a big “hmmmmmm”. If you’ve been following along, I mentioned that my swim team is associated with a triathlon program.  It’s called Team Z and it is a pretty intense group program that is part 

social, part way competitive… as in they have had people place in the top 4 in nationals numerous times. Um, yea.  They also have people finish dead last (WOO HOO!) so they are all over the board.  The program is really incredible – set into tracks based on ability, they set it so everyone finishes bikes/run at the same time.  A full set of coaches for each event, they also have yoga, boot camp, strength training, etc., all week.  So you can do like 20 different sessions if you want/have time (yea, right).  The head coach wants me to do it because he says (and is full of shit) that I’ll be a strong asset. I think he is a good salesman. 

I AM intrigued because obviously having coaches in all aspects, as well as medical professionals helping in other aspects, and clinics for other parts, would be wildly beneficial.  But, I’ve just requested a weekly schedule of the sessions so I can see if it is worth the money.  Time is already stretched thin ~ is it worth it?  But then again, am I going to really be able to do this if I can’t fit more in?  And am I going to really be happy with my results if I DON’T do this?

Deep breath… deep breath…

Injuries are not acceptable (an athlete’s prayer)

We got some yuck news today and it shook me up a bit.  A few years ago, right around the time I got preggo with #3, Hubs had been running pretty regularly. He looked and felt great – his back and hip were fine, and he was really happy with where he was physically.  But all of a sudden, his knee really started hurting.  Out of the blue when he started running about 6 miles regularly, he was in complete and total agony.  Referral in hand, he went to an amazing sports therapist in our area and after an MRI and Xray, was told to start a steroid and some PT…. Unfortunately, Mr. Stubborn didn’t do either because we were moving at that time and having a baby.  So, he just let it go and time healed the pain.

Fast forward to current day, and my man and I start to train for the first event of the season, the half marathon in March.  I am SO proud of him for doing this because he is coming out of retirement… meaning, he hasn’t really been working out regularly at all.  But, for the past week, 4 weeks into our program, his knee has been killing him. KILLING him. So, back to the doc today and the prognosis isn’t good.  He’ll be out the first half, and we are hoping right now that this new treatment they are putting him on is going to allow him to be back for the 2^nd half.  But I am MAKING him follow it!  It is better for him in the long run.  And I want my man WHOLE! 

I know how frustrated I got at the end of last year when I got so sick.  I was hitting my physical high again ~ getting back into a really good routine, feeling super strong, and really feeling like, when I started to train, I was going to be okay.  Then, bronchitis followed by pneumonia hits.  Broken ribs.  I just couldn’t get better.  It was crushing to not be able to do anything and wanting to…. And hurting so damn bad.

I have a pretty high pain tolerance and feel confident that I can work through some falls and sprains, pulled muscles, broken fingers and toes, and random things like that.  I’m still frustrated as hell that my ribs still hurt and taking a deep breath makes me grimace, but… it isn’t like I’m going to not run or swim – duh.  But what if something serious happens?  What if my knee gives, or what if when I was running the other day and twisted my ankle… it broke (hurt enough running 2 more miles on it!)?

I’m sitting here telling Matt that it’s okay he’ll miss the first half, trying to reassure him and tell him it’s a good thing that he’s getting this taking care of.  But would I be okay with it if I get hurt and have to miss one of my 7 events this year?

I really need to start stretching more.  Ugh.